Oh How I Missed My Friends

It’s Been a Minute…

Alright so let me start off by apologizing and acknowledging that it has been a minute since my last post but I didn’t want to have this thing just be a wall of drunk stories from my college years every other blogger on the internet likes to brag about. And to be honest, my life really hasn’t been that exciting lately. Work has been pretty consistent and no big changes on the horizon or anything, the house is good, life in general has been pretty good.

For Old Times Sake

So out of no where, I get a call about 2 weeks ago from a buddy from college that I haven’t seen in years. He moved away after college and we stayed in touch but we never really took the time to get together since the move. So he calls me and tells me that he has gathered 5 other absolute messes that we used to party with in high school and college and talked them all into taking a trip to New Orleans.

Now I have never been and flights were cheap so I decided why the hell not? It’s been a while since I got together with a group of guys and made complete asses of ourselves so I quickly agreed and bought my ticket.

Long story short, the trip was absolutely amazing. If any of you out there reading this have never been to New Orleans (and you are of drinking age of course) than you need to go with some friends… ASAP.

First of all, the food was bomb. And I mean real bomb. As soon as we got there, me and my friend ordered the closest non corporate restaurant we could find and ordered some good ol’ southern cooking. I saw alligator on the menu and immediately ordered it. We ate oysters every day, drank copious amounts of liquor and beer, and visited multiple gentlemen clubs on bourbon street. I got back 2 nights ago and everything was all good right?


I Got Bed Bugs…

Yes, you read that correctly.

To my absolute horror, I woke up today with little bumps all up and down my calves and my heart immediately sank. I went to the good old internet and as I prayed for an absolute miracle and refused to accept what I knew was coming, searched google for signs of bed bugs. I tried to talk myself down but proceeded to my bed and sure enough, I found the bugs.

There were only like 2 or 3 visible ones that I found but they were definitely bed bugs. I absolutely lost my mind and found the first Pest Control company that I could find online there and had someone come out immediately.

I didn’t want to start throwing everything away so I calmly paced around my apartment trying not to think about it too much until the guy got to my place. He did his little inspection and sure enough he confirmed my worst nightmare.

I got bed bugs…

So I don’t know if anyone of you out there have ever had them or ever read anything about these little guys, but they are apparently almost impossible to completely get rid of by yourself. They can live in your walls, your electric sockets, even your god damn alarm clock. Jesus Christ I can’t handle the thought of these things crawling in my walls.

I can never have a girl over here again.

I can never have family over again.

I will have to move out into a new place and burn this place and all my belongings in my path.

I’m being a little dramatic but I honestly don’t think I am going to be able to sleep here. The dude quoted me 700 bucks to 100% remove them which i agreed to in an instant. He could have charged me 2 grand and I would have payed.

This is not something I was prepared to deal with…


The Following Years

So after 2 years of hangovers every other day, waking up in places I’ve never been in, and gaining about 15 pounds, I made the decision to start to buckle down and think about the future a little bit more than I had been. I have always not really enjoyed school and was never happier than the day I graduated high school, but 2 years of partying and seeing all of my other friends start going places in their lives made me realize I couldn’t do this forever and I needed to try and start making some moves. It was then that I decided I really didn’t have much of a choice than to enroll in college myself and start changing the direction I was heading in. I think I just made up for lost times of partying in high school and just went crazy right after and got the majority of it out of my system. Don’t get me wrong, I still have stories for days after these first 2 years but things definitely slowed down, which definitely needed to happen.

So How Does This Whole College Thing Work?

So after high school, I had it in my head that you simply enroll in college, get a degree, and get a job. Unfortunately for any of you out there reading this who hasn’t been to college yet, it’s not quite that simple. I changed my majors more times than I can remember and couldn’t decide on a degree until my 3rd year of college. The first two years were pretty comparable to high school but I went to a community college at first so it wasn’t really that far off.

It wasn’t until I enrolled in my state’s university that I made the decision to go into finance as a major and pretty much hope for the best. The amount of money that college costs today is absolutely absurd and I believe it is only going to get worse. It has become more of a business here in America, rather than an educational system and if you waste time taking classes towards a major that you don’t love and want to change, they don’t really give “refunds” so it’s important to know what you’re doing.

To be honest, I chose finance pretty much solely because I was running out of time to commit to one and finance seemed broad enough to land a number of different positions and really had the highest salaries for starting positions that I found. Let me say though, I do not recommend going about choosing a major this way. Although it ended up working out for me in the long run, you really don’t want to find yourself stuck with tens of thousands of dollars worth of debt working in a field you want to jump out of a window in.

I researched countless hours on websites like forbes and payscale trying to decide what major to go into and decided finance was it for me. Like high school, I really hated every second of actual college and if it wasn’t for the parties and social life it showed me, I probably would have dropped out. But hey, it beats cutting down trees.

Alright, One More

After reading my last little story, I can’t help but think about other ridiculous nights I had with my friends and some of the shenanigans that we found ourselves in. This little bit of pondering made me think up one of the better pranks that we have pulled on a friend in our day. I’m going to try and not turn this whole blog into my black out drunk stories but I can’t help myself right now.

My Friend’s Family Had a Pool

So one of our friends’, David, parents always had money when we were kids. He was the house we always went to after school. He had the best food, the newest video games and movies, and he had a pool. It was a badass pool too. It was in ground with a small diving board, basketball, and everything else that high schoolers would love messing around with. So after his parents had another kid, they had a removable pool fence put in so the kid wouldn’t wander in and drown. It wasn’t quite the strength it needed to be to stop a group of hammered teenagers however.

One weekend our friend’s parents went out of town so of course we had to throw a raging pool fence destroying party, right?

So like our first party adventure, a lot of my friends don’t remember many details of the night, but I do. Don’t get me wrong, I was drinking very heavily but for some reason I never went over the edge that night and I am so glad I didn’t. So after hours of beer pong, flip cup, and other typical college drinking games, everyone was feeling good and some were starting to fall. One by one people started dropping to the nearest couch or open space on the floor to pass out. This is when my friend and I noticed that David was no where to be found. A little concerned, we started searching for him and after a solid 10 minutes, we found our buddy passed out on one of the fold out chairs on his pool patio.

Being the guests at our good friend David’s house we figured it was only appropriate that we do something ridiculous to him at his own home. Even before we started drinking and going all the way back to middle school, my friends and I have always messed with each other while we are sleeping. However, drinking definitely brought this little tradition to the next level.

Little David snoring away so peacefully was just begging for us to do something and being as drunk as we were, we knew it had to be good. So we started constructed a raft. We used every flotation device that was at the house to build an impenetrable plastic boat. We were hammered, but at least coherent enough to make sure that there was no way in hell this thing was going to sink without slashing it.

We really wanted to go over the top on this one so we took out 4 sections of the pool fence and wrapped David up in it, tying and latching him up on the chair. For whatever reason, we decided that wasn’t enough and wrapped it all up with a few layers of duct tape to make sure he wasn’t moving.

We then proceeded to lift up his chair and set him sail on our indestructible raft in his pool.

We then kind of just left him there and proceeded to party until we finally passed out. It wasn’t until about 10:30 in the morning the next day that we hear David screaming at the top of his lungs. When we found him still taped down and wrapped up floating in his pool, even we were surprised at how good of a job we did.

Needless to say, David didn’t have another party for the rest of the year after that one.

Ridiculous Times

Little Bit of A Late Bloomer

I had mentioned previously that if I could go back to any point in my life and re-live it I would go back to the first two years after high school when I was working for a tree service company and was not enrolled in college yet. I hate saying it but the reason I chose this is because of the ridiculous amount of partying we did almost every night and I had some of the funniest memories I will probably ever have during these times.

So my friends and I never really partied in high school. I had my solid group of about 5 friends that I will have for the rest of my life and when we weren’t in school we were pretty tame during our four years. We played a lot of video games and liked to skateboard and for the most part we all stayed out of trouble. It wasn’t until this first summer after senior year that the fun really began for all of us. I always knew that people started partying in high school and most of the kids we knew were drinking by this point but for some reason I never really had any desire to start. I wasn’t judgmental or anything towards people who started partying though; I just felt that video games were a little bit more of a priority at the time. I’m sure I missed a lot of fun times by not joining my peers at these parties but it was definitely for the best. If I had really started partying when I was 16 I probably would have gone too crazy so I really don’t regret it.

And we absolutely made up for lost times…

Didn’t Know What We Were Missing

So we have our good friend Nick to thank for introducing us into this lovely world of partying. He had started working for a restaurant as a server right at the end of our senior year and he started drinking and partying hard with his friends from the place. So we randomly decided to join him at one of these little get togethers one night and the first night of us really partying commenced.

I don’t know if any of you out there remember the first time you really got hammered but for those of you who do, you understand the absolute absurdity of what usually follows. Needless to say none of us really remember any real details past the first couple hours of the party and we were glad we didn’t.

So brief synopsis of the aftermath (this is all true):

  • I ended up crying because I was sad that one of our main guys of our group of friends was going out of state to college and I wet the bed for the first time in years in the guys apartment that we were at. Oh, and I woke up so hammered still that I didn’t even realize or acknowledge that I had pissed my pants until we were out to breakfast getting coney dogs. Yeah, I am serious.
  • Ethan randomly woke up from his drunken stupor to find the bathroom and violently puke in. Found the bathroom with the toilet already being occupied by our friend David; so being the sensible guy that he is simply puked in the next best thing, this guys bath tub.
  • Cody ended up getting in a fight with his girlfriend and for some reason thought he would really get back at her by not sleeping next to her and sleeping outside in the front lawn of the apartment complex. Did I mention that his girlfriend was not at this party that we were at?
  • Nick and Eric decided that sleeping at this random apartment was a stupid idea and that walking back home to their beds would be much more comfortable. They forgot however, that we were over 4 miles away from our neighborhood and after 2 hours of walking, sleeping behind a kroger in the woods would have to do.

This might not sound like the most fun to any of you out there who didn’t go through such an intense party phase, but those of you who have know how hilarious these memories are for you and your friends.

My Personal Choices

Where (or When) Would I Go?

Since I asked all of you out there where you would go back in time if you could on my last post, I figured I might as well go ahead and talk about where in the past I would go if I could relive any times in my life. This is a pretty loaded question I understand, and now that I am actually thinking about it it is really hard for me to choose one period. A part of me wants to say I would go back to my childhood era, around 4th or 5th grade. Honestly, what is there not to love about being that age? I had the perfect childhood. My parents were amazing, my friends were great, and I didn’t have a care in the world.

Buuuutttttt being an adult and really looking back and appreciating all the points in my life, I am going to have to say that I would go back to those 2 years right after high school when I worked for a tree trimming company and had not enrolled in college yet. I hate to admit it, but the partying I did during those 2 years were the most fun I have ever had and probably ever will.

Every Night Was A Party

So if you read my first post on this thing you know that I didn’t go straight to college right after high school and just continued on working the same job for a tree service company that I got in high school. I made decent money and didn’t see any reason to waste more time and money by going to college (stupid decision that I changed 2 years later). So unlike my friends at the time who made the responsible decision to go to school, I had no homework, no tests, no final exams, and no group projects. I did work a lot though but as soon as I punched out on my time card for the day, it was time to relax.

And by relax I mean the whole crew working that day immediately heading to the closest bar and throwing them back like we were rock stars. The group of guys that I worked with were all older than me, but I had a fake ID (sorry Mother Dearest) so I felt like one of the guys. I think this was a big reason I loved that job so much. Working with guys older than me that didn’t go to school made me feel like I was doing alright and that if these guys could do it, so could I.

If I wasn’t partying with the guys from work, I was partying at my friends’ colleges getting to live the best parts of college without actually having to attend or go to any stupid classes. I was honestly living the dream.

I was the man too during these times. Not many people had fake ID’s this early on and I got mine from a friend I worked with so I was always the one to bring all of the booze to any party we were heading to that night and needless to say, it was a great in with any of the ladies that were at the party. I felt like a king at 19 years old.

For any of you out there reading this that are in college, I have 1 piece of advice for you. Embrace every single second of it. You have no idea how good you have it until it’s over.

Where Would You Go?

Hypothetical Time Machine…

If you could go back in time to any point in your life, where would it be?

(No I don’t actually like this song by the way)

When you were 6 years old without a care in the world?

Back in the day when you were 13 and you just had your first kiss and wanted to climb a mountain to tell the world?

That one birthday party when you were in middle school and you and all your friends sneaked (anyone else always use the word but apparently not actually a word snuck?) out of your parents basement and wreaked havoc in your neighborhood?

Those college days blacking out with all of your underage friends waking up in frat houses that you don’t even remember going to?

Being a middle age guy in my early 30’s who for the most part has his shit together, I really find myself day dreaming a lot about a lot of things that I have done in my wild and crazy eventful life. Looking back at it all, there really isn’t much that I can’t say that I have done. I have gotten into a lot of trouble (nothing serious), hooked up with and got too involved with a lot of women, met a lot of crazy guys, and traveled a lot of the world. I’m lucky to have grown out of  my party phase and buckled down when I needed to, but god damnit did I have some good times that just immediately put a smile on my face.

A Changed Man… Kind of…

So after high school, I didn’t go the conventional (smart and responsible) route that most of my friends took and decided that college just wasn’t for me at the time. I guess it all worked out but for anyone reading this that might be considering not going to college let me say this, you really have to have a solid (and I mean SOLID) plan for what you want to do if you really don’t think you are going to do college. Seriously, it sucks but it’s damn near impossible to make it without a degree anymore.

That being said, it ended up working out for me. I worked at a tree service company when I was a junior in high school and actually made pretty good money. A lot of it was commission and I have always been a hard worker so I strived to worked as much as I could and saved up whatever money I didn’t spend on booze.

So for the first 2 years after high school, I cut down and trimmed trees and I partied.

And I partied hard.

I could write a book on all the stories I have just from these 2 years and I will definitely be sharing some of them on here but I don’t want to make this a partier’s user manual and want to share a lot of different stories that got me to where I am today.

So after these 2 years I realized I didn’t have much where else to go and decided to bite the bullet and enroll in my towns local community college for 2 years, then finish up and graduate at my state’s university with a degree in finance. I don’t really know why I chose this at the time but it ended up working out for me in the end. I work for a small financial company in my town now and don’t quite rake in the “big bucks” quite yet, but I am heading in the right direction. I don’t love or hate my job now, but at least I don’t have to be outside in the scorching heat sawing down trees, right?